LYRICS : Chapter 19

I saw a nail driven into his hand

I was close to it

I saw the flesh cave and the blood leak around the edges of the nail

I saw a nail driven into his feet

And into his other hand

His face flew into my heart

I begged for salvation

I begged to be forgiven

I said I love you

To his impossible light

I saw the crown of thorns forced onto his head

I saw the blood drip into his eyes

I saw him naked and exposed

And displayed on the cross

I could feel what he felt

I could feel that salvation has a weighty price

I could feel that salvation has a weighty price

And that my soul is lost

Then I was with my guru

An african tribesman

I loved him

With a love that wasn't human

He was everything to me

He said its simple. I love you

Then he disintegrated

His body blew away into the wind

And his skull fell to the ground

But he appeared again as spirit

He was showing me that he was not his body

Then I was a corpse

My bones and dusts of skin

Lying in the desert

My spirit still trying to exist

In this motionless pit

I was illuminated

I was not my body

My body was blown away by the wind

Then I was asked where love comes from

I was not my body

My body was blown away by the wind

Then I was asked where love comes from

The emotion of love

Separate from your animal self

I saw love as a spirit

Which is my nature

Love can save me

I heard myself say I love you

Over and over

To this formless presence that was with me

I love you so much

I felt protected

I felt safe

I was outside my body

I saw my body function as an animal

And I realized that this is not me

But knowing what I was went so far beyond comprehension that I couldn't take it

An animal

And I realized that this is not me

But knowing what I was went so far beyond comprehension that I couldn't take it

I opened my eyes

I saw the african statue of two heads connected in a kiss that blended faces

I was on a trampoline

I was falling so fast and so far

I was going into hell

I was falling thru fire

Nothing could save me

I prayed earnestly

I hit the trampoline

I flew up so far

Into the sky out of the atmosphere

Deep into space and then some place beyond space

I touched him again and then I fell again

All the way back down

And then I went all the way up again

And I saw a painting I made of Cerise

She appeared as an angel of mercy

I closed my eyes

I saw my dark nature

My greedy conniving lying self with red lips and plastic body melt away in damnation

I begged again to be saved

I begged again to be forgiven

I was stripped away of everything

I was laid bare

I was naked in a hot room

With a fan blowing on me

My hands were holding each other over my chest

And I was praying

I was humbled

I saw a cartoon version of my heart

Beat outside of my body

Which was covered in white healing light

And mending my smoky throat

I love you

Is my mantra

I love you

Is my home