POEMS : 2015

2015-01-27

A Thousand Winters Cold (for NYC)

I've reached the endless water

I've reached starvation's peak

Past the point of hunger

Where every crevice speaks

The cracks in hollow mercy

Breaking in the sun

Blue as holy rivers

Beside them we both run

(To the sea the elk still run)

I've reached the hidden wonder

My eyes just gave away

You can see so many colors

That your vision falls away

But then you look inside to

what your heart could be

You look so far and wide

Until you can hardly see

As blindness becomes mercy

You fumble thru the dark

As sounds all fade away

The dogs begin to bark

Barking in your memory

The sidewalks bend and plead

Your mother on her knees

Your father they will bleed

Your brother lost in shadows

Afraid of everyone

But this is like a dream

You are broken by the sun

Broken in the sun again

The misery takes hold

Hiding in the spiders cheek

A thousand winters cold

You toil for a love to keep

Or any silver voice

To say your name at daybreak 

Or give your bones a choice 

Walking breaking drums or run

The muscle veins and skin

Wrap around the wedding gun

The cosmos coming in

Space and time the universe

Blue and green and red

Infinite infinities 

filling every persons head

Life is coming back and forth

Restless in the grave

I could give you what you need

But me you have to save. 

For my light goes off and on

And on and off some more

Salvation is bad poetry

But salvation is my whore

For she is there for everyone

Everyone is free 

beyond the way they cage themselves

In unreality 

And what I say to you

Might as well be told

Hiding in the spiders cheek

A thousand winters cold.

---

2015-02-04

I used to be a fig

Or

Fruit of the loom

If I said

The apple bled

Or the orange went weeping without skin

Into the sewer 

He got kicked!

If I said

The grapes were a gang

Of killers on the look out for loose change

And widows. 

Or if I said

The kiwi

Was an outcast,

Belonging to nothing or no one,

But his own shadow

Dancing for time,

Who is thoughtless and careless,

Like all that's sublime. 

If I said

The grapefruit is a bully holding a knife to the throat of the moon

Saying

"Where is the girl Chico?"

(The grapefruit calls the moon Chico

They are on a first name basis

That is an aside.)

If I said

The watermelon has given up. 

The fruit flies have taken over. 

The tangerines just spread their legs for money

And are only interested 

In nuts with power,

Like cashews or walnuts. 

All the almonds are to fend for themselves. 

The suicide rate amongst almonds is on the rise. 

The raw ones are ok,

But many are addicted to getting smoked,

And after that they lose their essence,

They go wandering

The streets

Begging for salt. 

A shell of their former selves,

Which is ironic since they lost their shell

In a past lifetime. 

(Do almonds have shells? I honestly don't know, or do they grow on trees and rain in the spring as the hummingbirds sing. Do hummingbirds sing? Or just whine with wings buzzing thru storms

And in the brainwaves of kings)

If I said the pear is the preacher

Or the leader of the pack,

The one they call Sydney 

The one who's got your back. 

He's the archeologist

And the grave digger,

He's got a big belly full of hope. 

I bit into it once

He bled to death around my mouth. 

Sat there stripped on the table turning brown. 

I felt bad til

I found out he was a clone. 

There a thousands of Sydney's all over town

Digging graves,

Making tools,

Listening to confessions,

And marrying too.

This loom of fruits,

And me just a fruit of the loom. 

A fig or raisin?

Can't decide

What I want to be

Or what I am. 

I've heard figs are the enlightened ones

And raisins are forgotten. 

And never mind about the mangoes

They are the killers

And the superstars

We don't talk about them around here anymore 

They're all bananas.

---

2015-02-05

Crying rooms

We all have them

Often in a shoe

Usually the left one

Sometimes the right

But to keep them there

We have to hop. 

On the ocean we balance houses

And tread water from the floorboards. 

Termites of chance,

Being dawned on by alien invaders we cannot perceive. 

And in these crying rooms,

The ghosts of our hysteria,

Reach their apex and dissolve the way

All memories do,

Back into our blood

Where rivers form

And flow into nothingness.

Most crying rooms

Are carried behind the eyes

Flicking back and forth.

Where are the doors

On which others can knock?

Or we can escape?

These windowless rooms

Without proper air

Or light. 

The inescapable echo,

Our tears

In the night.

---

2015-02-10 (1)

The Cartoonist

Reckless rain and disco beats

Your hands were made for holding

When in doubt the moon competes

For emptiness or scolding

I make cartoons

I outline stars

I make them into eyes,

I color fields

With blood or mist

The dogs apologize. 

I give them teeth and harpoon meat

I chase them in the grave

And looking back

They ball and snap their

Noses thru the cage.

Who could cage a girl like you

Or who could set you free?

I drew you feet for walking

I drew you lips to flee,

But you just keep on kissing

The spider or the wind

The monkey or the leper

For the chance to start again,

I drew you one strange heart

But you gave it to the priest

Smoking crack in shadows

Always hungry in the feast.

I drew you countless dreams

But you forgot them in the dawn

The light was much to cruel for you

In the dark where you belong. 

I gave you my night vision

But you just used it up to haunt

The widows of the world

Who are damned to take and want. 

I drew you ears to hear

The silence in the sound

And the singing of the ghost

To whom we're always bound

Guiding us in rapture

Guiding us thru need

Healing ancient wounds

The ones that always bleed

And then I drew your eyes

Each one a tiny star

Way up in the cosmos

In death still shining far

The left eye sees the ruin

The right eye just sees grace

I drew a dream of beauty

And made that dream your face. 

I am a cartoonist

Fading to a song

A melody that's lifted

From a beat that's moving on. 

But still I needed color 

And for color I did bleed

The sky for rain and wonder

And the earth for dirt and seed.

---

2015-02-10 (2)

Kanye

Artistry is subjective,

Depending on,

your own perspective. 

Drum machines 

and production teams

Versus,

Acoustic rides

And single strides.

Both are art

So let's restart.

What the heck!

Don't pick on Beck!

That little dude

Has helped our mood

And made his art 

both big and smart

(And likes you to

Even tho you're rude.)

Of course I like 

Beyoncé too,

She can sing

for me and you,

And she can dance,

and she can move,

And doesn't need 

your point to prove. 

So don't get mad 

when nothing's left,

Don a leotard, 

WWF!

WTF 

why the spite?

We're all dreamers

In one long night. 

We make our songs

And put them forth,

Like our children,

Like your North 

So don't get violent

On mine or his

Or create battles

Where none exist

You're a genius

So be gentle man,

And become

A gentleman. 

Pick your battles

The demons real

The oppressors

Who never feel

They look normal,

don't look like shrek

But still don't take it

Out on Beck!

Or on Picasso

Or on Matisse 

Or other artists

Protect the freaks!

We're together

Against the man,

Against the grain,

And in the sand. 

The landscapes bleak

It's a desert world,

So don't descend

Upon of the pearls,

Being thrown 

before the swine,

Have you lost

All of your mind?

And what the heck

Don't pick on Beck!

There's only dreams

And nothing more,

Artistry,

A revolving door,

All who knock

Can come inside,

And reveal

The way they hide. 

Might be with 

a drum machine,

A dancing beat,

A euphoric scream. 

Might be with

Nylon guitars,

Weaving out

Of falling stars. 

Both we need,

Both are true,

There is no better,

Just me and you. 

Art is not a relay race,

Or about who has

A pretty face. 

Art connects 

a man to God,

Broken open 

spirit bod. 

It's not of football

Or a boxing match,

Root for no one,

Enjoy the catch. 

It's probably all 

some PR move,

But you don't have 

Much else to prove. 

You've rocked the world 

And won respect

So what the heck!

Don't pick on Beck.

---

2015-07-14

There's a heart on Pluto

Thru a plane of glass

The alien abduction

Flying business class

Holding in emotion

The widow marching on

The heart we left on Pluto

Was never really gone

Beating in space stations

The dreams are stars which bleed

Forgetting fear and shadows

And the missing things we need

There's a heart on Pluto

A lunatic for sure

Is living there alone

A thousand years to cure

A heart outlined by stones and rocks

Floating deep in space

Black holes coming at us all

And burning thru the face

When you're walking slow at night 

And forgetting how to run

And you look to see if Pluto

Can see what you've become

You send up one more dream

Helium heart balloon

Black hole in your chest

An astronaut consumed but 

You're the one gone missing and

You're the one betrayed

By time and space and bliss

And the light that leaves the grave

Broken space salvation

A planet on the run

Pluto just a lunatic

With a heart that can't be won.

---

2015-09-04 (1)

You're like candy for my mind

The stop gaps that I jump to

When the hero has gone blind

Sabar tooth euphoria

Biting thru your bind

Your wing nut on a prayer

Soaking here in turpentine 

How could I control you

Said he to those that grind

Coffee for the dead

Speeding up when they rewind

Dripping into hollow faces

Traces of us find

Ourselves in all these nightmares

That we manage to unwind

There is another day for us

Said he with dirt and grace

As a giant furry spider

Crawled slow across his face

A shotgun then blew mercy

His brains across the wall

As a potted plant fell from the hands

Of a maid from down the hall

Igloos are high rises for ants with bones of steel

This is how they shatter us

In times when we can't feel

Broken up and betrayed

By voices in your head

I've sheltered you all long enough

I say

Unto the dead.

---

2015-09-04 (2)

She ran away with circus legends

Ice cream cone burlesque 

Holding onto secrets

She is tortured to confess

Toe nails painted blue

She waits backstage to dance

Looking in the lighted mirror

At a child she does glance

Who are you to speak to me

Who are you to hold

This darkness in me I believe

Gives fire in the cold

Smoking her last cigarette

The cold wind taking hold

She shivers in her mini dress

Stacks of numbers to unfold.

She's a purple peacock

Purple rhinestones purple rain

Dancing to that prince song

To the beat of joy and pain

The money raining on her

She swings around the pole

The lights of flesh and metal

Hitting pieces of her soul

She ran away with circus legends

They told her where to go

As at that time her lost eyes

We're painted up with snow

Sniffing lines in bathroom stalls

As beats blew thru the walls

Her shadow there beside her

Whispering everybody falls

She ran away with circus legends 

They gave her much advice

They told her she must never

Do the same thing twice

And if you're ever caught

On the wrong side of the law

Hold out for the hand grenade 

But try not to kill them all.

---

2015-09-05

All around the neighborhood 

Bricks and painted signs

And doorways going nowhere

But to alleys of the blind

Syringe stick legs are moving out

With yuppies moving in

Starbucks used to be rock clubs

Where we lost ourselves 

Back when

All around the neighborhood 

Helicopter spies

Cops in insect raincoats 

Biting bats inside their eyes

Billy clubbing vagabonds

Spitting up their blood and teeth

Everyone is guilty here

Everyone's a thief

All around the neighborhood 

She spit in winds of flame

Inside her a hive of bees

Trading honey for the shame

One eyes jacks

And goose step hacks 

The fallen have arrived

It's only will and a touch of grace

keeps anyone alive.

---

2015-09-07

There's a leg hanging on the wall

A shattered lense thru which we call 

Hic hup lollipop I don't care

The bartender here has blind eyes to spare

Juggling poker chips

And under a noose

The fake hands are waving 

The burning caboose

The smashing engine

A train in flames 

Dead in tracks 

And forgotten names

Surrendering sun

Skeletal crane

The cancer fogs

This useless brain

I want God or nothing at all

A love that's real 

Or fire to fall.

---

2015-09-12

Evil sky

Broken head

The spirit world

Confetti dead

Paper trails

Gods a joke

His pencil drawings

Up in smoke

Aliens

Both me and you

The frozen ones

We never knew

Grey and black

And blue dust moons

we disappear

Into harvest dunes.

No ones here

Or someone is

Perceptions walls

Aren't mine

They're his

He decides

Where I should be

This evil sky

In front of me

Voices moaning

Inside too

The darker dreams

Are coming true

Rothko's Moon 

The laughing wrist

Confessing loon

I've become this.

---

2015-09-13

I keep having a good time until

You remind me that I shouldn't be

The sirens of your hate blooming forward

Like blood from a battle tree

Maybe I could catch you then

Hitchhiking some strange road

Where the weapons of misfortune are sold to the hooligans who load

Tiny dreams and spiders

For carnivals in minds

Which open up new worlds

With drops of turpentine 

Hooligans on fire

Guns and rodents blaze

The names chase fallen angels

Thru the spiders of the haze

The warlords confiscating

The cops in murder black

Chopping first their vision

As they shoot us in the back

Here's to Loch Ness monsters 

Survivors in the sun

The Buddhas now at Princeton

Reading 'how to Babylon'

The monkey of the widow 

I'm here and sown up tight

To the disappointing rainbow

Of a revolution night.

---

2015-09-15

Winds of love blow thru trees of mercy

The sunshine sets me free

I go scattering into far off voids

Free of all the things I need 

No more body

No more bones

No more skin or teeth

Just a voice

She calls me home and

I enter with relief.

---

2015-11-01

Lou Reed was no monster

No imposter either

What he was 

Was open

Like pale blue eyes

Like 

Stephanie says

He was the last great American whale

Don't throw your lead harpoon in his skull

As it watches over 

The world he left behind

So much better than how he found it

You may call him a monster

And I guess he was

For those that live lives of oppression and mediocrity 

He was a monster to the normalcy that drones us all into stupefied boredom

But as a man

He was as sweet and and generous as any friend I ever had. 

But he was also pretty fucking famous

And he didn't let that cage him in

He walked around NYC

He was available to all

And if sometimes he had to be what some might call rude

It was only to protect his ability to be as free as the rest of us. 

Fuck you Howard

You're a fucking monster

Lou was a goddamn saint.

---

2015-11-14

I am a hallucination 

Of a warped perspective 

twisted in madness

And a superficial syringe 

Shooting into the veins of Christ

A hallowed sacrificial goat

Flows from me 

As dose the blue jay on a warm mountain sun

As does a snake 

Looking into swallow rats in the dark

As does the minnows 

And the magic of tricksters in Vegas

Singing to the almighty disguised as Elvis

On cocaine and hookers

Bring back Bartholomew 

Bring back Coltrane's dirty notes

Trying without succeeding to tame his unhinged music

By remaining faithful to his godfather The Duke. 

And put your dukes up

From me the boxer

Fights blank warlords in blue desserts

Whispering of the mighty trains 

Whose inventors died beneath the tracks. 

Their bodies

Tattered and torn in the sinews of metal

The pigs of industry

Whiffing their big husks about

As they storm cities

Giant as Godzilla size

Eating the assholes out of all of us. The grime of the city only protects us for so long

Before it takes us in and makes us its slave. We our monitored here

Our lives which were once impossible

Are even more so now.

We are headed into a planet on fire with storms so powerful 

That even Coltrane's mind

Is a placid place for meditation by comparison. 

We are a doomed species. 

And we have undone ourselves.

We have let our passed sins 

Become greater still

And greater still again

Until now

Even the best of us in our heart of hearts 

Knowing what we know about humanity

Have little hope that this world full of loons and vampires 

Has any real chance 

Of putting the flame of this ignorance which is burning us alive

Anywhere close to out.

But bankrupt though we are

Doomed as we maybe always have been. 

This night driving down the cool highway listening to Coltrane with the window in the Cadillac rolled halfway down

Smoking a spliff in the wind of a double tequila 

Heading to New Hampshire

There is actually nothing at all wrong with anything. Everything is also as perfect as it could possibly be. 

Who can't after all get behind 

Living this kind of gamble

Between life and death all the time. 

Holding onto the blue prints of Saigon

And the window map of a heart surgeons ambition 

Across the chest of a rodent. 

Break our backs or let us fly

This life is anything but fair. 

We all stand around 

Like hallowed out tombs for mercy

And yet we laugh and smile and fuck and get drunk

And do all the good things 

That celebrate our doom here

On this most beautiful of places.

Listen to Nina Simone sing

Ooh child things are gonna get easier

Ooh child things'll get brighter

And it's all you need. 

Sometimes. It's all you need.

---

2015-11-07 (1)

Life teaches you how 

If you can live long enough. 

People like us.

have the magic to bluff. 

That gift that came

we were born to lose

Holding us here. 

With illusions to choose. 

I miss you here

On addiction's bleak row

The Devils red wind

Filled with skulls, shame and snow

People like us

Make a fool of this life

The gifts we have

Come with twisting the knife

(Are black magic too)

They swell and inspire

And make days seem new

But when the night comes to hide us

They drink, smoke and screw 

The madness of breathing

Begins soon to choke

The windowless rooms

Are the places we're broke. 

Found out by no one

But the witness inside

A lost voice of wisdom

Echoing low and wide 

The black hands of mercy

We won't dream to let in

In the blanket of death

Made of powder and sin

Sleep it will come 

and sooner for some

The ones who lust shadows 

And places to run. 

People like us 

Only hang onto dreams 

And the slow hand of love

Never follows are schemes 

But people like us

Give the world a clean shake

And some of the zombies

Reject brains for our cake

So we bake it and bleed it

And let cowards run dry

Folding open our ovens

We discover the sky

The musics been baking

And so have the songs 

But your voice was too fragile

To right any wrongs

And so you chose just to exit

You chose just to leave 

The gift that you had

To heavy to grieve

To special to dance 

To hopeful to live

Too much that you took

And too much left to give.

---

2015-11-17 (2)

'Once your feet can't touch the ground 

It's hard to tell

How deep the deep end really is

I sit with you sometimes 

As you tell me how to live

We've never reached our limits

But we've reached so many peaks

That the warlord has been shattered

And now knows not what he seeks'

Is it death here or mercy?

Is it wrong or is it right?

For we are war machines 

shooting dreams thru hollow nights

Unconscious faze and dust

The nucleus is Sin

Where born with madness here

And it's still yet to begin. 

Frozen soldiers with dead minds are

Just radios for hate

Shooting down the innocent 

As if that could change their fate. 

As if death and fear bring heaven. 

As if greed was generous. 

As if cruelty was the breath of mercy

And the creators lips to kiss

Like rats with military weapons

Might become something more

Instead they scurry in the dark

Cowards in their core

Giving up their life to live. 

But choosing that for brothers 

And as bullets start to fly

Don't they see the eyes of others?

Have they nothing else to do

To give them purpose in their life?'

Or are they only turned on

by death machines twisting in the knife?

There is no heaven for you

And no virgins there to wait 

For you there's only darkness

And the horror that you make.

---

2015-11-19 (1)

Moments like these

I begin to look after us

After the fights and

the reasons we trust

Suspended in air

The universal state

Looking death in the eyes

Thru the pupils of fate

I once held you there

So young and so cold

Both of our families gone

To the rich they were sold

To the fields Babylon

To the dead end of dreams

To the plantations maze

And field whipping screams

Moments like these

I begin to look after us

The purple harpoons

And the Angels of dust

Broken sky ward and gone

We saw our children go

To the cities rich dawn

And the new worlds clean glow

From their ancestors ghost

They have travelled so wide

Bridging tunnels to space 

Finding Giants inside

To the gleam of the past 

They say Hail Mary's for

And even the pain

They open the door

But it's times like these 

I look after us

The grandkids are sleeping

And so is the rust

I've broken some cameras 

I've broken some laws 

But the vengeance of strangers

Had plenty of claws

So to my good fortune 

I can say it's well earned 

And the buried are sleeping

Where they are concerned.

---

2015-11-19 (2)

These movies are bad

Why do we watch them?

When spirits go spinning

Like bats from a cave

The torture of sunlight 

The murder of action

Our blood is the ocean 

Our dreams are the wave

The cats doom is broken

The beats new and old

The hidden have secrets

Or so I've been told

Lift off the rat race

The idiots won

This confusion of ages

Has only begun

Our nerves are all shattered 

By digital waves

The nuclear light show

To which we are slaves

---

2015-11-22

She can feel it descend

To the quicksand she bends

And her dreams 

Like an avalanche fall. 

To the hide outs of tramps

And the dark highway ramps

The addict will answer their call. 

Broken and hiding

The idiots riding

Thru cities with lights on the brain. 

The fumbling keys

And the scars on her knees

Both ring with the absence of pain. 

Her powdery dreams are

dead bolt rust screams and 

A face in the door of a ghost. 

Haunting the halls

As the emptiness calls

The lonely return to the lost.

---

2015-11-27

Knocking. A child keeps trying to come in. 

Knock knock we don't let him in. 

The chance to begin again. 

Knock knock there's that sound again. 

A stranger who comes to the door. 

Knock knock what's he coming for?

The victims who always need more. 

Knock knock head down on the floor. 

The blood begins to pour. 

Knock knock darkness pleading more. 

And for what do they all score?

Knock knock what are they knocking for?

---

2015-11-28 (1)

Live from Chicago. B b b b Somewhere down the skyway

Blanked by Jupiter

Shook by the arms that you love

In a nightmare ahead of you

The sun keeps coming

It's fire and paranoia

Blooming wilderness across alien planets

These Suns keep coming

Keep raining fire

And watching ballerinas become spiders

Under glass cages

Filled with wine and opium

Or else

Watching 

Good Hindus become weightless and coke fueled 

Beyond their nights of poverty and crime

As they return 

To the avenues of dust

Lost are our chances when we scandalized 

Vagabonds

With the sheer will and enthusiasm of our youth

And here are the days when we've become those vagabonds

Shrouded in the shadows of our truth. 

I wish I could be a lot like you

But the windows are foggy or to sane

And love is a camera with no flash or film 

And a picture that can never remain.

So bleed out for me

And I will for you

And together

We'll drift with the stars 

Aged and holy

Broken but true

Two lights shining beyond the bars.

---

2015-11-28 (2)

I'm trying to make it important again

That thing that lost it's magic

Night moves 

Big chances with Hail Mary passes into the abyss

What choice do any of us have

Silent and invisible

Or loud fools

Blooming forever into scavengers 

Of a love that remains aimless and doomed

But then again

There's a thing called piano

And there's an ocean to surf

Nothing is perfect 

Jelly fish and sharks

Bruce Hornsby and the rain (and I like Bruce Hornsby)

But nothing is perfect

In the end we have our guts

And a little bit of radio

Maybe a bacon omelet

Or a sun rise

When the surge in you is 

Becoming the surge in her

Or maybe a bouncing moon

Where moods don't matter

And everything is dark blue and dripping with blood

And the only call

Is the one no one hears

Beckoning no one home

Bringing free form jazz to the pop hit masses

In a scavenger hunt for surrender

Of course none of us find it

As we die in pits of confusion

Amongst our alienated families

Holding hands as we pass

With the clamminess of regret

John fogerty singing credence in our finger nails

Buddy holly knocking on the death of rock n roll

As he sings a song he never sang

About being the best that ever was and none was to ever be better

But helicopters fall

The nucleus splits

And the volcano dies

And knife goes in like hot syrup and twists

And you wake up confused again

About where you are

Or even why

And you look out the window at the perfect sky

Highlighted by fog and bad radio

A song about nothing

Sings to your head full of nothing

And the only solace is that soon

You'll be gone from this place

A dream of a dream fading

Barely smoke

In the lungs of a dying god's exhale. But there's still something more. The chance to be forgiven and beyond that the real truth that we all already are.

---

2015-11-28 (3)

I lost it 

I found it but 

I lost it too

Who knows who the hell

Bully Joel wrote uptown squirrel for?

Or why these fields in America are so vast 

And barren

Red barn fading

Cheese fields and holiday RV's waiting

Beers must be coming

As well as a pig to toast

Hillbillies listening to skynard 

As the sun goes down

Over their antique trash

Bullet hopes thru rusted trashcans

And machine gun rounds in a dead tree

From those nights that were days that were nights that were days that were nights again

When perverted shadows

Fell from the sky

And the secret password was "meth"

That's the night chuck said

Let's go turn that place over

And we found it

The bag of winning tickets. he new a place 

We could sell em for 50 cents on the dollar. 

Get rid of them quick 

And head out of town

But then in that darkness

I tripped over her

She had been dead for hours

Blood like black tar on a dark wood floor

No other evidence around. 

We burned the place down

The tears were streaming down my face

My hand was shaking holding his stolen 45

Chuck just kept screaming fuck at the top of his lungs

Hitting the steering wheel over and over 

We knew where he was

Or at least we thought we knew. 

Driving like bats with no cave

Lights off in the dark

Chucks maroon Impala hot rodded with no muffler

Sounding like a junkyard dog looking for blood

Trapped in a dumpster 

Full of old rusted paint cans 

And old car body parts 

The highway started raining blood 

The windshield wipers wiping red streaks 

Over both our eyes

His wife 

My sister

Battered there.

We walked into the place

The 45 still shaking in my hand 

Chuck saying something about cops and breaking noses

Jimmy saw us walking in. He's upstairs playing pool.

---

2015-12-06

I want to heal 

want to move to the light

I want to be real

And to continue the fight

I want to relax 

And call bliss a friend

blow thru my hardships

Like a soft springtime wind

But sometimes the demons

With hands cold and grey

Reach out thru the darkness

In your blind alleyway

And then you are cast out

Confused and forlorn

Believing there's no way

To be ever born

So you hide deeper still

And like powder you burn

Lighting the wick

You explode no concern

But soon you wake up

To a dawn that descends

A blue light of grace

The maroon sadness sends

And you wake up your soul

And it asks to come back

And you cry silver tears 

On a canvas that's black

And on there you write

A prayer to return

To the home of your heart

And away from the burn

Of the fires of hell

Of the fires loss

The mission now love

And no matter the cost

Going within

Surviving the drought

Forgiving the sin

Within and without

But still having fun

And still letting go

Still making mistakes

We're not perfect you know

have honor like thieves

Or friends in the night

But let's pledge allegiance

To our missions of light

The ones you can hear

When you're quiet

Alone

Broken open and hiding

From the cracks in your bones

Supplying the dealer

As you sharpen your knife

Cutting open your head

Are the words in your life

The things people said

To you when you're young

Forming yourself

From an idiot's tongue 

And now that voice speaks

As it comes from a grave

As you live in the daylight 

To the darkness you slave

empty and yawning

It's pulling you in

Temptations of shadows

That delude and pretend

Self medication

Bleed out the past

You can't get beyond it

but you can help it not last

Move out of hiding

Give in to the light

Help it to hold you

Help it to fight

Frame yourself winning

And by winning I mean

Get back to beginning

To believe you are seen

As a beacon of light

As a lover hope

As you untied the noose

And began jumping rope

And always remember

You are never alone

Thru the terrors of this age

Where none quite belong

So just light the candle

And then look away

As they murder the vandal

Of your souls hideaway

Wake up reborn

And begin then a new

The mission is love

And that love is (in) you.

---

2015-12-07

I am big bird

I am the grouch

Lift off and flying 

In a trashcan say ouch

I am a puppet 

Floating in space

The mask that I wear

Has become my face

I look thru the holes

And believe

I get by

Without anyone seeing

The look in my eye

But I entertain them

Thru dance and thru song

In melody singing

A home I belong

The stage is my fortress

Connected to strings

Watch him move forward

Open winging he sings

Beautiful sonnets 

Where goodwill belongs

In the captives of scandal

And the shame of their wrongs

I've been with you hiding

I've danced in your dreams

The wolves in your head

Are my paint splatter screams

Red gold and blue

Both purple and green

The insides of rats

And the outside of Kings 

Frozen in time

But begging for more

The puppet with legs and strings

Is a whore

From both sides of stage

Hands pull and we're gone

To the addicts of space

And the need to belong

Becoming as one

We freeze and burn out

The ecstasy chase

Becomes what we're all about

Bowling for dollars

The guitars crashing down

Pins and distortion

And the advent of sound

New rhythms falling 

From bliss and beyond

The melodies kiss

Holds our hearts all night long

Seeking yet finding

But losing again

The monkey of fortune

Hiding under my skin

Broken and fractured 

The strings are all frayed

I feel that I'm falling 

To the side of the stage

A puppet like people

Most one day just fall

And the crowds of the past 

Will still try to call

In the echoes of shadows

In the shows coming soon

From under kids beds

Somewhere over the moon

Where dreams are left hiding

And silence is king

But the song is still singing

And it's you who will sing

---

2015-12-08 (1)

I have a mind of winter Wallace

I have a heart that's gone

In the beating of a horse

Running sideways in the dawn

Of a battle made of muskets

And gun powder to choke

The throats of other ponies

In the heat of battle stroke

One head just blew open

His brains just splattered there

Against the trees of mercy

In the forest everywhere

His spirit now an infant

His heart beat a pure song

For the Angels of forgiveness

Who are forgotten in the dawn 

Let's sing one for our wilds 

Let's sing one for despair 

Let's sing one for the spirits 

I see lurking everywhere

Popping out of shadows

Their stories moving on

Beyond any memory

Of their time here long since gone

In idle desperation

With tenacity of thieves

They fall like things that die

From birds to autumn leaves

Giving up on strangers

Paranoid on speed

Packing stolen weapons

And the bullet eyes of need.

We come here to be given

We come here to be strong

Where told that loves the answer

But for that we're too far gone

So self hatred runs and shatters

It's fragments everywhere

Like hand grenades of families

Generations of despair 

These things they come with shelters

Protected from the dark

Satan's evil keepers

Drawing blood from ones who spark

The seeds of inspiration

They want them dead and gone

Bewildered lost from caring

In old rooms of Babylon.

---

2015-12-08 (2)

The Confidence Man 

Comes at you slow

He sees what you're eyes trace

From up high to down low

He helps you believe him

From the weight of your need

From holes deep inside

Bloom the flowers of greed

You want to believe

So by him you are led

To the victims of yearning

Who all scream in your head 

To the strangers broke down

Finding small sunlight 

From under the ground

Or the missions of night 

Follow the cards 

And give him your dough

The confidence man

Has a magical glow

Wide eyed you see him

And worship your luck

Spreading your legs

The wings that you tuck

With him you take flight

And unglued your past

Living life backwards

But living to fast

Until you are nothing

In the palm of his hand

The shadows are looming

In the mountains of sand

The confidence man

Buried you in

Still you could breath

But the darkness began

Taking over your world

When you saw you're alone

In the alien vortex 

Where nobodies home

Where nobodies real

And only dummies can dance

You would try to escape

But you can't take the chance

The confidence man

Stole all your keys

And left you there bleeding

Down on your knees

You begged him to stay

But he was long since a ghost

And now you are homeless

And he needs a host

So onto the next

Con he will go

The next natural victim

To him she will show

The weight of her need

Lost in her eyes

He'll see his way in

Thru his deviant skies

He'll create a creature

He never could be

But you'll need to believe him

Because you need to be free

And freedom he finds you

You're high on his drug

Sweeping his demons

Under all of your rugs

Becoming a stranger 

To family and friends

Your life now in danger

And so it descends

For the fast you are hopeless

For the slow you are doomed

Looking to trick you

He comes now well groomed

A bouquet of roses

A tattoo of Christ

A body perfection

Cocky but nice

You fall in love

And give him your soul

Let him surrender

You let him control

And your every move 

You confirm it with him

But he never will really

let you come in

A cartoon is dancing

A sun is an egg

You crawl like a spider

On his wooden leg

For he is a pirate 

Your jewelry he stole 

Along with your heart

Your laughter and soul

And after he leaves you

You cry tears of blood

Hallow and vacant

Your heart in the mud. 

The confidence man

Just goes to the next

Victim of need

And the greed of our sex

Our need to be loved

Our need to be found

Our need to be rescued 

From the storm coming down

But nothing can save you

Except from within

The turmoil changing

And changing again

They say god is the answer

Or spirit or love

Just try to surrender

To something above

Something above you

Something beyond

Humans or fortune

Or things that are gone

Or things that are going

Or things that are doomed

Every dead flower

Was once newly bloomed

Every dark sky

Once held the sun

You've got to find stillness

Yet long may you run.

And don't you worry 

The confidence man 

Will be soon to pay

The people he's broken

Will stand in his way

Zombies and shadows

Freaks and old ghosts

Burning in hell

His soul long since lost

The confidence man

Really not real

The love you were sharing

He never could feel.

So just keep it moving

Heal up and move on

And police all your greed

And need to belong

Don't let another

Come in and confuse

The things that you want

For the life that you choose.

---

2015-12-08 (3)

There are just two sides 

The right and the left

The one eye of greed

And the burden of theft

It's heads in the clouds 

It's will upside down

The both of them spinning

From drugs they have found

One tripping acid

One tripping greed

Focused and hungry

From the fortress of need

The other less angry

But hypocrites still

Soiled by mercy

They can never fulfill

Undone in glory

That was only pretend

The vagabond spirit

From the rich they descend

But still they are willing 

To give empathy

To the burden of others

Much less they are free

So for this only reason

And this reason alone

They're simply less evil

And Christ like it's shown

In the writing of scripture

As passed on thru time

Let's give out more love

Lets love let us find.

I've been a preacher

I've been a ghost

Burnt out in China

Forgotten and lost

Passed the Great Wall

To deserts beyond

The reaches of others

Who have been holding on

Left out and fragile

Good will breaking down

The patrons of sunshine

Who have given this town

It's buildings and stations

It's pubs and it's graves

From times before Jesus

When the new kings were slaves

And heads were all rolling

Down black marble stairs

Blood just like paintings 

Popped red everywhere 

With faces appearing 

Like modern art

Hung

In the walls of the MOMA

Dakooning's woman

Hookers of mercy

Fucked sideways til dawn

In the epics of sunrise

And cum dripping down

As lovers go sleeping

Beyond just pretend

That love has no meaning

And will have no real end

There are only two sides

The left and the right

One breaking down

At the concept of fight

Of course we're unequal

But that's just pretend

If your will is ungodly

And you are a real man

But the other sides passive

yet right still here

We can't let the fallen

Be eaten by fear

And still remain civil

With humanities pride

Looking into each other

Without having to hide

For each of us broken

Can be unbroken still

With forgiveness

And charity

As Christ shared his will

So let's turn both sides

Into one side called love

From the nuclear bomb

To the white peaceful dove

And stop every murder

Whatever the cost

For we'll never return

When humanities lost

---

2015-12-09

Disclaimer. I am not in this poem advocating or even wishing for the actual death of Trump but of his ideas and what he currently stands for. In writing tho sometimes you need to see blood to really bring forth any weight to the emotion. See Shakespeare for example. So yes here I cut off his head but actually wish the man a great and peaceful life. Just very far away from me.

Trump is a bitch

Trump is a con

Love to see him ripped up

Or shot dead in Saigon

should be cut like a pig

one ear to the next

And we should watch him bleed out

All the hatred he's vexed

Him and his people

Racists of clout 

America should be choking

Cunts like this out.

America in trouble

From within and without

Our freedom is tested 

In the days of the drought

The days of free weapons

And mass murder glare

It's hard to say Jesus

Or God could still care.

Trump is a rat

But we are his hole

America now rotting

From its absence of soul

Where lunatics thrive

And idiots rule

and prayers for the dying 

Come from every fool

America now shattered 

of stolen greed

Falling over survivors

Breathing heavy from need

starved come with numbers

They won't knock on your door

They'll use battle axes

And the legs of their whore

America is shooting 

Itself in the head 

Flogging it's past

On the merciful dead

Slave ships of ghosts

from lands long since gone

Since before we had moons

Or a place to belong

soon we will go

Back to times like these

When nuclear clouds

Shake us all to our knees

as our faces glow

And melt in the dirt

We'll know fear has won

In the land of the hurt.

---

2015-12-10 (1)

tolen goods and us

Slipping across witchy submarines

The kind that Pop like thought bubbles and are gone

"I had a dream you were sick and lonely"

The sky stays like this 

Even when we don't take pictures of it

And what of it can ever be captured?

Some distant glance is all we get

(All we ever get)

We are told we are of the sky and stars 

But these myths don't puzzle me 

Licking the token wounds the summer gave you see?

Hercules, Systems of chance 

Who knew how we became

Broken open coward eggs

Separated for the neon

Strippers dancing legs 

Looking good in the misery dawn

Helpless and paranoid 

Yet enjoying an elevated status created by some con you've played on your peers,

As they sang you a song

Thru the suds of their cheers!

I want the ugliest thing

I long for the darkest hour

Why else then do I obsess

On those times when life 

Will devour me like a poison pill?

Instead of these times

When the Angels do everything they say they will?

When everything is perfect

Or at least sparkling with these waves 

Of stolen goods and us. 

Riding on a bus to nowhere

Or floating on stranger's beds and lust.

---

2015-12-10 (2)

I'm all the contradictions 

Every single one 

A peace sign that's a weapon

Or a backwards pointing gun

A survivor who's a suicide

A dreamer who can't dance

Or a gambler too afraid

To take any kind of chance

A tall man who's so small

He falls thru every drain

In the euphoria of bliss

Feeling every point of pain

Satisfied but hungry

I eat until I'm fat

But then starving I go run and hide

With all the skinny rats

Living in clean houses

And treated just like kings

Until the tender kitten

Comes swooping in with fangs

But once I'm chewed and swallowed 

I'm reborn here again

This time, I'm ink that's blood,

In chosen writer's pens. 

A list of shapes and numbers

the residue of chance

To grasp at some new meaning

Or boils we can lance

To clear out old infection

To let the healing in

I remember how I lost it

The one time I did win

Hollow but not empty

Old and young and heart

Nothing here has meaning

So everything is art. 

I paint a picture of you

It's an astronaut in space

But when I look inside your helmet

You haven't got a face

just two eyes there floating

And a mouth that's upside down

Which speaks in backwards rhymes

All these words you throw around 

Like give each other mercy

Set each other free

Hold onto the love

You've always been and will always be. 

You can turn away

From fear or things you chase

Giving up the things that fade 

And holding out for grace.

But I'm all the contradictions

So I'd rather run and hide

Or be found by some strange light 

That's coming from inside

For one day we must make our exit

And where will we return?

To the clouds of bliss and candy

Or the place where sinners burn?

Or maybe there's an elevator

Going back and forth

A little bit of heaven 

heading south from way up north

Back into the fires 

You have a little fun

Until you're now held hostage

By a moron with a gun

Pointing squarely at you

Looking in the mirror

You realize all at once

It was just a case of fear

You pull the lonely trigger

popping flags saying BANG!

Your nightmare was a child's toy

But your love was acid rain.

---

2015-12-11

People are fragile

Father and young

Blown out on history

Of the gravity's sun

All of us lifted

From here or from Mars

Drinking and gifted

At the velvet rope bars

Meaningless eyes ring

On dance colored beats

The movement of sex

Flocking close incomplete

Strung out from voodoo

And the rooms of your chance

Both messy as hell

As they glow with romance

People are fragile

On high wire beams

Fronting their hostage

To the ransom of dreams

Separate but equal

As the stories all go

But the rooms you get in

Are the people you know

And if you've been chosen

Or if you've been brave

Or the Scandalous ones 

Who are happy to slave

For the riches of time

That are certain to fall

Plagiarizing itself 

on the toilet house wall

Calling those numbers and

Breaking your brain

Watching with measure 

As you go there insane

To the haunted house mansion

Up over the hill

Passed your decision

or the choice of your will

Where you give up your freedom

And let consciousness ride

To the marriage of God 

or a high level bride

The universe breaking

Your vision expands

Things coming now

Not one mind understands

You go into nothing

And nothing again

Until you are nothing

But the nothing within

And in nonexistence

Eternities eyes

Blow into fractals

As if rainbows were flies

Buzzing before you

On divinities' shit

Feeding your soul 

On a cosmic big tit

White light euphoric

Big dick hyper space

Who knew God was kink

Into leather and lace?

Floating in love

You're broken but free

Decide what you want

Whoever you want to be.

---

2015-12-12

Someone said be careful with your words

But birds come in herds flying over with turds

So the nerds who observe the pain they deserve say be careful you don't

just blow into ash

A nostril from space

Does you up in a dash

And what high are you?

When you fuck with his brain

Filling heads up with smoke

From your one engine plane

The meaningless spike

Or the crash coming down

From the heads that are tails

And the freaks all around

Some are asleep

Some might be dead

I seem to remember

some apples and lead

The old william tell 

the junkie bill B

Who shot his poor wife

Holding fruit from a tree

But it was a mistake

So the court case maintains

That the core of the apple

Was the misuse of brains

And from there the words flowed

Like a moronic

Spark!

Children necks snapping

Poetic and dark

The junkie and queer 

Liberated us all

To the dark side of love

And over some hidden wall. 

And to the rest of the beats

He was plainly their dad

But the last to confess

That the whole thing was sad.

Some one said be careful with you words

To them I say

Words are just plates 

Spinning carnival loons

For tricks done with cards

Or the dust of cocoons

The shadows all lust

Changing shapes with the light

Of the alien ship

Landing now from its flight

A crew of new beings

Grey and big eyed

Black eyes like saucers

Giving nothing they hide

one by one they all jump!

Inside your ear

And when they're gone 

are you sure they were here?

But then these new voices

Begin chatting up high

The words just fall out 

Like tears from your eye

And you have to keep going

To have any chance

Saying things 

That are dictated

When the stars shake and dance

Inspired or illness?

Genius or case?

Of a mind breaking down

Behind an unchanging face.

Or do dangerous words come 

from someplace beyond? 

From the hopeless of mercy

To the needs of the strong?

For the kids who are shattered

And moms frightened there?

The words giving back

What was already here. 

A place of relating

the highs and the lows

To take out the hateful. 

Ok, break all their toes!

But not on their bodies,

On their ideas which run,

Old fear and hatred

Straight back into the sun

---

2015-12-16

Each mans life

A bridge undone

Going nowhere

Into the sun

Hotels in nothing 

Rooms of clouds

Your body soon is

Lost in shrouds

First of silk

Then of dirt

Then the kingdom

Made of hurt

To build redemption

Become a ghost

A thousand days

And nights to roast

Burn the sins

And flesh away

forgotten times

You held decay

Like a baby

In your arm

The self you love

the self you harm

Shoestrings vibrate

The angels sing

Another you

Is dangling 

From the rafters

Of your cell

A rope read exit

These walls of hell

But dreams are made

Of pain and joy

Neither real

Neither ploy

Tricks the mind

To cut your skin

To take your eyes

Away within

Somewhere secrets

Are divulged 

Floating in

Old broken worlds

For each man's life

A bridge to build 

It stops mid air

And unfulfilled 

For how could any

Real eyes see

The holiness surrounding thee

The lives you touched

And then were lost

The payment tears

An ocean's cost 

Fragment skull face

Memory

The cracking bones

You're born to free

But to this life

You are a slave 

Survival sparks

The trips you've made

From every coast

To every star

When you were normal

How bizarre ?

For every man

A bridge in fog

Shattered endings

Howling dogs 

Driving thru this 

Mystic trance

Mistaking pleasure

For romance

Situated 

You come and go

To forget 

The ones you know

But love wins battles

In hearts that die

Like sun that breaks

The cloudy sky

Each man's bridge

Ends where? unknown. 

Going back 

Nobodies home

Switchblade tongues

Are silenced here

As are the woes

Of yesteryear 

But where the bridge ends

cars fall off

As trumpet calls

Start playing soft

All your loves

Go sinking in

The ocean of your life 

Again

Phantoms gone to history

This bridge

A bridge to mystery.

---

2015-12-21

Can you unlock 

my spirit beast?

Somewhere frozen 

in the east

Somewhere broke 

before the call

from the slumber 

inside us all. 

I've been hated 

and betrayed

Left for dead

or worse for trade,

But in the light

I heard the call

From the slumber 

inside us all. 

Inside me

is you and them. 

All at war

or love again,

Somewhere down 

the Milky Way

Where gold hearts fly

And young hearts pray. 

My spirit beats

a locked up cage. 

The lion's roar 

A thing of rage. 

Unspoken laws 

between us all,

What in man's heart 

still yearns to fall?

But I was there 

and heard you call

From the slumber

inside us all. 

So take this key

It's old in green

It's gold is fake

like Halloween. 

The beast is real 

I hear it mull

The tired bones 

inside us all. 

God's confusion

He never knew. 

That we'd want life

And death to screw. 

And be immortal 

So we could ride

The things that keep

Our love alive. 

Take this key

And swallow it. 

I'll stay locked up

Till you admit

That we're the same

Each one will fall. 

Into old slumber 

Young and all. 

We dream of love 

Yet fear will crawl

Into the slumber 

A beast and claw. 

Let's wake up! 

and have a ball,

Until this slumber

Betrays our wall. 

Let's destroy 

the things that crawl

To make our slumber

A needless fall. 

I love you 

One and all

The slumber waits

To hear us call. 

Don't let your voice

Our freedom dull

There's only one, 

Each one is all.

---

2015-12-23

In the silence of the dawn 

I saw

you fall

from grace

Long before this silent song

Fell 

from 

outer space

The singer she was dead

The drummer

a grey ghost

The bassist was a loon

Bewildered 

by the host

The host came to us all

First each alone

then all as one

The song was written then

Before the music

had 

begun. 

Silence crept away

Then man's imperfection led

The hungry

to the living

And the living 

to the 

dead

I been with you before

In skull nights locked in dust

The mission plagerized 

this demon 

known as 

lust

We walked a thousand streets

I'm sure 

there

are many more

Who open up like rivers

Or the legs 

of every 

whore

Before us there is mercy

Before us there is love

The windfall 

sings it's shelter 

To the

shattering 

above

Hope is just for strangers 

You pass them 

on the street

And looking at you sideways

The freaky 

fingers

meet. 

Pick pockets on the subway

From here to Babylon

The only 

foreign country

Is the home 

where you 

belong.

---

2015-12-23 (2)

Lines of wisdom

Acts of rage

Holding fast

The things that age

I see you 

And turn the page

Gifts like this

Get thru the cage

Hello freedom

Hello dawn 

This goodwill keeps us

Moving on

From the Sufi 

and the saint

Held in godlike

body paint

Skin of angel

Skin of dream

Forgotten thoughts

Lost wandering 

You think you're dead

But you get born

Everyday

You're in the storm.

Lines of wisdom

In my head

Been here before

Under my bed

Always hiding

Always made

Aging just like

Colors fade.

Sandal broken

Sandalwood 

India choking 

Hollywood. 

Forgotten screen shots

Of long dead saints

God the painter

On them he paints

And out flows wisdom

From above

The tidal of

These waves and doves

Serpents prying 

Their way back in

The darkness

Clawing out within

Surging forward

And in the dirt

Your teeth reach out

To eat the hurt.

But you stay hungry

With gifts to pay

Your way thru borders

On holiday

Treasure captured

Held dear and lost

The things that haven't 

Got a cost

Not of money

Not of time

Somewhere further

Beyond the mind

Holy weapons

Or holy love

It never changes 

The rapture's glove

Hand's creation

Hand of dawn

Hand of knowing

Where we belong

And please now guide us

Before we fall

The broken bodies

On the wall

Both side waging

Both sides lost

Scattered dew drops

Of sunlit frost.

That is how

I think of you

The chance we had

But never knew

And still we're fractured 

Still we're frayed

All out hidden

games we've played. 

Still we're fractured 

Still we're frayed

Blame it on 

Mistakes we've made. 

Still we're fractured 

Still we're frayed

Shake the hand

But seek the blade. 

Still we're fractured 

Still we're frayed 

The love gets thru

In light well paid.

---

2015-12-29

Pushkar Bangla Ghat

We never met dr alone

We never got set in (any )stone

We never tried to see what was shown (there)

But in the end got

All Our minds blown 

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

In the holy land

We saw only dead

we went to the water

And it's touching our head

From the hand 

Of a hindu priest

From starvation

We sat at the feast 

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

Om infinite hands

cleansed our souls 

By the lake 

Of the ones who came whole

To give his gift of grace 

To them all

The deaf and blind 

Who can't hear his call

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

Pushkar

Bangla ghat

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